I usually don't just sit at my computer and pour my heart out but tonight I feel like it for some reason. Especially since it is my only form of a journal. A few weeks ago we had a wonderful lesson in Relief Society at church. It was one of those times when you feel like the teacher had prepared something specifically for YOU to hear. That day I felt like it was for ME!
I guess you could say that most of my life has been lived in FEAR. I hate that I am this way. I really just think it is part of my genetic makeup. But I do think it can be worked on and changed too. Everyday I worry about something. It could be something as small as one of my girl's touching something dirty and wondering if they will become sick from it. And it certainly goes as far as having scary thoughts of someone breaking into my house, someone in my family getting a fatal illness or getting into a bad car accident. These thoughts are with me a lot! I know that I think about them more than the average person.
Going back to the lesson now... The teacher talked about how we should not FEAR in our life. She said that it can overtake us and that is exactly how Satan wants us to feel. There are many things that we can control in our lives but many that we can not. If we just have FAITH that there is a plan for us all... then we can overcome any trial that may come our way.
I really needed to hear this. I also realized that I need to get more FAITH! It is something I need to work on. I have also realized lately that I need not sweat the small stuff. If Berkley would have broken her leg a year ago, I guarantee that I would have thought it was the worst thing and maybe would have even cried myself to sleep for a few nights. But I am starting to understand that I need to not WORRY so much about things that aren't that big of a deal. And also try to just make the best of a situation that I have no control over.
I know that I am starting to babble but I have just felt a little more fearless lately. I am glad that I got to hear that great message. It has helped me out so much. I hope that this is something I can pass on to my kids at an earlier age so they can grow up having faith in their lives and know that no matter what happens... there is a plan. There is a reason. We are all loved by our Heavenly Father who wants the best for us and wants for us to be happy. Living in FEAR does not make one live up to their full happiness.
So- here is the new and improved FEARLESS Summer! We'll see how I do next time I have to fly somewhere. Or the next time I need to have blood drawn. There is no way I want Satan to win and make me feel fearful! Okay, I am off to bed and will NOT worry about dying of a heart attack in my sleep b/c I eat too much chocolate. I will NOT worry!
13 comments:
You are SO funny Summer! Ever since I found out I was pregnant I have lived with a little fear....fear if the baby will be healthy, fear of the birth, then fear of him getting sick, etc. I think once anyone has a kid they will always have a little bitty fear in them no matter what. But good to work on those fears too- good luck Fearless Summer!! I know you can do it.
Summer, I know these fears all too well so I know how you feel. I rarely voice them to anyone, they are just constant thoughts and it drives me nuts! The small things don't get to me, it's the fear of car accidents, me dying and some other woman raising my kids, Jeff dying, kidnapping...etc. I hate that I always see the 'bad' and wish I was one of those who lived carefree but for some reason I was wired to have this fear. I have a primary calling otherwise I would have heard the same lesson, and it sounds like it would have been a good one for me too. Soo...thanks for sharing it since I wasn't able to hear it. Glad to know I'm not the only one who thinks this way! With more faith, we can both overcome it!!! -kendyl daly
Sum- You KNOW I needed to hear that. You and I have had this conversation one too many times. It's no fun to live in fear.
if you have to get blood drawn.....i'll fear for you.
I liked this post! It's sad that it took me a couple traumatic experiences to learn that life does go on and get (really) good again, and things that seem like big deals really aren't. I don't worry half as much as I used to cause I know no matter what happens, everything will be fine. So glad you didn't have to experience something crappy to realize that!
P.S. Are you loving John's "Where the Light is?"
Summer what a great blog. Anyways... one of my favorite quotes is from Pres. Hunter our stake pres. when he said, "Faith and fear can never be experienced together." He was talking about missionary work and I think it goes with anything. You cannot have fear and faith at the same time.
this is SOOO me. I run through funeral services all the time in my head of close family and friends. how morbid is that?
So do you not need "Cool as a Cucumber" anymore to calm you down??
Good post and thoughts Summer! I think as mothers we have more than our fair share of WORRIES and FEARS. It's hard to let Heavenly Father be in control of the people we love and want to protect so much, but we have to learn to hand them over. I think that's something we're all learning every day!
It's easier said than done. I think as a parent our fears only get worse. But losing my Mom was a HUGE fear of mine and I've had to deal with that. Now I just need everyone else around me to stay healthy and alive!!
I do the same thing and Chad has to remind me that our Heavenly Father has a plan for all of us and it really helps me calm down. There are times though that I feel like I worry about what will or could happen and I don't enjoy how good everything is in my life. Nice post. I must have missed that lesson! (probably nursing Brooklyn)
spuds?! i am sooooooooooo proud of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! now if i fly with you i won't have bruises on my arms! =)
xo
I liked this post Summer! I have been having to catch up on all of yours! Sorry about Berkley's foot! By the time Brighton was 5 she had broken 3 bones! Thanks for the uplifting post...we all need more faith!
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